


Tit for Tat

by Codexfawkes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Hacking, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), left boob grab
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 05:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7421884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Codexfawkes/pseuds/Codexfawkes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I am so, so sorry. I didn’t mean…it was an accident, I just wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” Steve told her haltingly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tit for Tat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AriRashkae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AriRashkae/gifts).



> I own nothing. Any characters used from the Marvel universe and any quotes from anywhere are not mine. Joss is Boss.

After the fall of SHIELD Steve would have bet anything he’d never be truly happy again. Not until he found Bucky and helped him recover as much as he could. Then he moved into the tower and slowly began to relax around his teammates. The first time Tony made him throw back his head with unrestrained laughter, his big hand clapping down on the left side of Tony’s chest in delight, Tony was infinitely amused and decided to make Steve laugh like that as often as possible. Something he came to realize meant surrounding the team with the right people. People they could trust and relax with.

 

Darcy had never been to Avengers Tower. She’d heard about it on the news, listened to Jane talk about Jarvis and Candyland. Thor often spoke of his fellows and their antics in Manhattan, but it was all second hand. Sure she was curious, but she’d never been invited so didn’t really think about it. Which is when Tony Stark contacted her directly, to say that Darcy was surprised would be an understatement. 

Darcy was sitting in the lab in London, aka Jane’s Mom’s house, when the monitor switched from the paper she was proof reading to Tony’s face. “Whoa, what the what?” she blurted out in surprise.

“You always this eloquent Lewis?” Tony snarked.

“You always hack your friends girlfriends workplaces?” Darcy countered.

“Of course, I’ve got a bad reputation to uphold.” Tony agreed mischievously. “So what’s the deal Lewis? You didn’t come to the tower last month and Jarvis tells me you’re not coming tomorrow either. I’m starting to feel slighted. Do you think we smell or something?” Tony demanded.

“Dude, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Darcy replied baffled.

“When Thor invited you and Foster to the tower last month only his lady love showed up. Now for the second time only Foster is confirmed as a passenger on the plane. So what’s the deal? You’ve got a sugar daddy, you secretly think Barton’s an ass, you’re scared of Romanoff and/or Banner? What?” Tony demanded again.

“Mr. Stark,” Darcy began.

“Tony,” he interrupted.

“Right, Tony,” she continued.

“Better, so what’s the deal?” he interrupted again.

“If you’ll shut up for two seconds in a row I could tell you that Thor’s never invited me anywhere. Certainly not your giant penis in the sky.” Darcy blurted out exasperated.

Tony stared at her for a long moment before a smile crept onto his face. “Giant penis in the sky?” he asked with a snicker.

“You designed it, not me. You even added two arches at the base and the mostly white Iron Legion flies out the top. I may not be a genius but I’m not stupid either.” Darcy said dryly.

Tony burst into delighted laughter. “Oh god, that’s great. Jarvis a deals a deal, put in the order to have the arches removed.” Tony ordered between guffaws.

“Very good sir, Miss Potts will be quite pleased.,” a warm British voice responded.

“That’s Jarvis? Jane told me all about him.” Darcy said excitedly.

"Well, now you have to come to New York. You called me on my penis tower, letting Pepper win our bet that no one would by the way, she’s going to want to thank you for that. Plus you are clearly excited about my tech, so what’s the hold up?” Tony asked.

“I told you, I’ve never been invited before. I can’t opt out of something I didn’t know was an option.” Darcy informed him with a helpless shrug.

Tony frowned, he’d told Thor to invite both women and just assumed Darcy had declined. But unless she was far more trained in deception than anyone knew, she was telling the truth. “Okay Lewis, this is me formally inviting you to get your ass on my plane tomorrow and come to New York.” Tony invited.

“I don’t know, I don’t want to crash Jane’s limited Thor time.” Darcy hesitated biting her lip.

“Don’t worry about that, you’ll have a guest suite completely separate from the happy couple. There’s plenty of stuff to occupy you while they play hide the hammer.” Tony told her wagging his eyebrows comically causing her to dissolve into laughter. “Plus Barton’s back and he pouted something fierce that you weren’t coming.” Tony concluded.

“Clint’s there?” Darcy asked her face lighting up.

“Yup, you better not ditch out and subject us to his puppy eyes.” Tony admonished.

“Is uh, Dr. Banner still there?” Darcy asked shyly.

“Yeah, Bruce lives here. Look kid, you have nothing to be nervous about.” Tony started.

“Of course I do!” Darcy exclaimed. “He’s a legend at Culver, Dr. Banner’s work on anti-proton divisions is unparalleled. I took one of his classes the semester before he got his giant green side, back when I was getting my first Masters.” Darcy gushed.

Tony stared at her for a long moment. “I hardly know where to begin, first Masters? And do you know who your biological father is?” Tony quizzed.

“Why do I feel like those are trick questions?” she asked.

“Why so suspicious?” Tony countered.

“You ever have a shadow government agency steal your stuff? No? Hint, it’s as rotten as it sounds. I don’t like when people take my stuff. It’s one of my four rules.” Darcy answered.

“Rules?” Tony wondered.

“Yup,” she confirmed. “Rule #1, Don’t mess with my tunes. Rule #2, Don’t touch my stuff. Rule #3, Don’t be a dick. Rule #4, No touching guns. Then only for people I’m dating, there’s Rule #5, Be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie.” Darcy concluded.

Tony stared at her for a minute before visually shaking himself. “You’re getting on the plane tomorrow, yes?” he asked.

“Yes Tony, I’m getting on the plane.” Darcy agreed smiling.

“Good, see you tomorrow.” Tony said seconds before the connection cut. Tony leaned back in his chair with a bemused smile. “Jarvis, remind me to look into speech patterns being genetic. Also, did we know she had more than one Masters?” Tony wondered.

“Yes sir, I will remind you. As to Miss Lewis’ educational background, her SHIELD file does contain the information that she has a Bachelor’s of Science degree from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in mathematics, a Masters degree from Culver University in computer science, and an additional Masters degree also from Culver University in political science.” Jarvis confirmed. “There is also a personal note from Agent Coulson, wherein he expresses the opinion that while Miss Lewis is a valuable for the help she gives Dr. Foster, she is an asset in her own right and recommended her for recruitment. Former Director Fury authorized Agent Coulson to extend the invitation to join SHIELD, however Miss Lewis declined. She is quoted as saying, after a great deal of laughter, that she would not ‘join the jackbooted thugs even if it came with licking privileges over Barton’s arms.’” Jarvis recited. Five minutes later Bruce walked in to find Tony red faced from laughter and cackling to himself.

 

The next morning Jane and Darcy boarded Tony’s private jet and settled in for the five hour flight to New York. Hours later they landed at a private terminal at JFK where a black town car and a familiar blonde was waiting for them. 

“Thor!” Jane called out darting toward him happily. Darcy scooped up the handle of the rolling suitcase Jane had abandoned and trudged toward the car. A large, solidly built man stepped forward and gently claimed the bags from her.

“Good afternoon Miss Lewis, I’m Harold Hogan V.P. of security for Stark Industries. Tony asked me to take up my old role as driver to ensure you weren’t overlooked again.,” he introduced with a gentle smile.

“He really shouldn’t have done that Mr. Hogan. I don’t need special treatment and I’m sure you have far more important things to do the schlep us around.” Darcy said with a troubled frown.

“Don’t worry about it, you’re getting me out of a meeting I didn’t want to go to. It’s no trouble, and please call me Happy.,” he invited with a broad smile.

“Darcy,” she said extending her hand smiling back at him. Happy shook her hand before gesturing to the car.

“Let’s get you to the tower.” Happy told her leading the way to the car.

Having greeted Jane, Thor turned to Darcy with a contrite frown. “My apologies Darcy, I was remiss in my duty to ensure that you understood the invitations to visit Avengers Tower was intended for both of you. I am heartily sorry for inadvertently slighting you.” Thor apologized earnestly.

“Don’t worry about it big guy, it was just a misunderstanding.” Darcy replied patting his arm.

“Alright folks, we’re ready to head out.” Happy declared closing the trunk with a thump. Thor opened the backdoor for Jane letting her slide in first. He gestured for Darcy to get in next but she declined.

“Nah, I’m going to sit up front with Happy so I can see everything.” Darcy explained before walking around the car to slip into the front seat beside a bemused Happy.

“You know, only Tony ever did that, sat up here with me.” Happy told her.

“Does that mean you’ll tell me some of the good Tony stories?” Darcy asked with a smirk. Happy laughed as he put the car in drive and headed for the tower.

When they pulled into the Tower garage and stopped by the elevator, Tony was waiting for them. His eyebrows rose as Tony watched Darcy laugh at something Happy said. Happy put the car in park and the door swung open letting out the sound of him chuckling. The passenger door opened and Darcy climbed out, her eyes widening in surprise as she caught sight of him.

“Mr. Stark, you didn’t have to meet us.” Darcy said as she closed the door.

“We’ve been over this Lewis my name is Tony. Say it with me now To-ny.,” he snarked.

“Hysterical,” Darcy said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at him.

“Are you in awe of my awesome? I won’t blame you if you are, I’m pretty great.” Tony continued.

“And just like that I’m over it.” Darcy told him dryly. Happy brought the bags over as Jane and Thor finally got out of the car, her hair quite a bit more disheveled then when she’d gotten in.

“Please tell me I don’t need to have the upholstery steam cleaned.” Tony teased.

“Not unless Darcy made him literally happy.” Jane returned easily. Darcy snickered at Tony’s surprise and the red spreading across Happy’s cheeks.

“You hound,” Tony taunted.

“At least she’s legal, can’t say the same for every girl you’ve dallied with.” Happy returned ignoring his embarrassment. Darcy leaned up and kissed Happy’s cheek, getting a pleased smile from the older man.

“Thank you for coming to get us, and the story.,” she said with a wink. Happy smirked, winking back as he led her past Tony and onto the elevator. The others followed them, Tony frowning in concern.

“Story, what story?” he demanded to know.

“Just a funny little anecdote.” Happy answered him, pressing the button to get the elevator moving.

“So how did you get the llama into the bikini? They’re mean fuckers.” Darcy wondered smiling innocently at Tony.

“Really?” Tony asked Happy dryly.

“At least I left out the hula dance you did wearing nothing but a pooka shell necklace and a crown of flowers.” Happy offered cheekily.

“Tequila was involved, get off me.” Tony shot back grinning.

“That’s what she said.” Jane and Darcy chorused together causing Happy to let out a bark of laughter.

The elevator doors opened on Thor’s floor and he led Jane off the elevator, her suitcase rolling behind him. However when Darcy moved to follow, Tony stopped her.

“Not you short n’ stacked. I promised you a suite away from the love birds. You’re bunking in the guest suite on Banner’s floor.” Tony informed her waving Thor and Jane away, letting the doors slide shut.

“Banner’s in his lab if you want to meet him.” Tony offered with a grin. The doors opened and before Darcy could respond Tony was ushering her off the lift. “You’re down here, second door on the right. Just place your thumb on the reader and Jarvis will record it. Your thumb print will be your key, the door locks automatically behind you. Every time you come to the Tower, this will be your room.” Tony explained.

Darcy placed her thumb on the pad and after a moment the lock disengaged and Jarvis spoke. “Thumb print identification has been accepted, welcome to Stark Tower Miss Lewis.” Jarvis said.

“Thanks Jarvis, it’s great to finally meet you.” Darcy said smiling warmly.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well Miss Lewis.” Jarvis replied sounding pleased.

“You can call me Darcy.,” she invited as Tony grinned and pushed open he door 

“Certainly Miss Darcy,” Jarvis answered.

“Come on kid, you can flirt with my AI later.” Tony declared walking into the guest suite. Darcy and Happy followed, the latter moving toward the bedroom to put down her bags.

Darcy looked around in wonder at what  Tony called a “quest suite” and Darcy called an apartment. To the right of the door was a small closet, and to left a small table with a decorative glass bowl in swirling red and gold. The spacious living area was centered around a sleek gas fireplace with a large flat screen TV above it. There was a large comfy looking couch flanked by two matching arm chairs. A long console table stood behind the couch and held two Tiffany style lamps, one on each end, with an arrangement of sterling roses in the center. Beyond the living area was a galley kitchen and the left a short hallway that led to the bedroom with ensuite bath.

Darcy moved forward in something of a daze, missing the pleased smile on Tony’s face at her reaction to the space. He had plans damn it and those plans included getting Jane and Darcy for his R&D team. Giving her this space by Bruce was the first step of many in his plan to woo the pair into working for SI. Darcy reached out with a soft smile, tracing the velvety petals  of the roses in awe before looking at Tony.

“How did you know these are my favorite flowers?” she asked amazed.

“Good question, Jarvis how did we know that?” Tony asked.

“When you hacked Dr. Foster’s server to contact Miss Darcy, I took the liberty of gathering information as to her preferences I preparation for her visit. I do hope you aren’t vexed with me for doing so Miss Darcy.” Jarvis explained.

“Nah, we’re cool Jarvis. Well as long as you didn’t go through my porn collection.” Darcy replied cheekily as Happy rejoined them.

“Certainly not Miss Darcy, any appearance of your favorite erotic stories on the Stark pad on your bedroom table is completely coincidental.” Jarvis assured her primly. Tony let out a bark of laughter as Darcy blushed through her own chuckles.

“On that note, I’ll leave you two trouble makers to it.” Happy declared with a smirk.

“You’re coming to the pizza thing tonight right?” Tony wanted to know.

“I thought the pizza thing was tomorrow, I have a date with Sarah tonight.” Happy informed him with a frown.

“Bring her along,” Tony offered.

“No can do boss, I’m meeting her sister. It’s a whole thing.” Happy explained with a helpless shrug.

“Meeting the family, big step. Call if you need a rescue.” Tony offered.

“Only if you promise to send Pepper.” Happy quipped. “Darcy, it’s been a pleasure. I’ll see you tomorrow at some point I’m sure.” Happy said offering her his hand. Darcy bypassed his extended hand and hugged him instead.

“Thanks for the awesome welcome.,” she said wrapping her arms around his waist. Happy froze for a moment before returning the friendly embrace.

“You’re welcome sweetheart, try not to let this maniac get you into too much trouble.,” he said before stepping back.

“Maniac, really? Nice. My friend ladies and gentlemen.” Tony snarked.

“Who is he talking to?” Darcy mock whispered.

“The audience in his head.” Happy answered in the same tone as he moved toward the door. With a final wave he slipped out the door leaving her and Tony alone.

“Come on kid, I’ll take you to meet Banner.,” he said walking toward the door.

“You do realize I’m almost 30 right?” she asked dryly.

“Bullshit, you’re like 17, tops.” Tony scoffed.

“Actually sir, as of March 8th of this year Miss Darcy is 28 years old.” Jarvis chimed in.

“Huh, in that case how do you feel about morally upright virgins from the 1940’s? Cause I gotta tell you Lewis, Steve Rogers is in more dire need of a blow job than any man in history.” Tony told her.

By this time they’d arrived at the doors to Bruce’s lab. Tony entered a code into the key pad and the door slid open, soft strains of classical music flowing out. Darcy laughed softly as she followed him into the room. Bruce stood before a monitor that had fluctuating line graphs dancing across the screen as he typed on a tablet.

“Break time Brucey!” Tony declared loudly as he hopped onto a rolling stool. Bruce startled, looking over at Tony in surprise.

“I’ve asked you not to do that.” Bruce said with a sigh.

“I’m a slow learner. Now say hi to Darcy, she’s already endeared herself to Happy and ensorcelled my AI. I want to see how this plays out.” Tony told him with a grin. Bruce turned to see a beautiful young woman hovering by the door.

“Miss Lewis, I didn’t realized you’d arrived.,” he greeted awkwardly.

“I wasn’t there that day, and call me Darcy.,” she said with a confident smile.

“You weren’t where what day?” Bruce asked bewildered.

“Jane said it really bothered you to learn she’d been on Culver’s campus the day your bigger, greener side made his appearance. I know she told you I was there too, but she got it wrong. I was in Pennsylvania in a hideous bubble gum pink bridesmaid dress watching my cousin get married. So yeah, no reason to stress on my account.” Darcy explained.

It shouldn’t have made a difference, learning that she wasn’t there. It didn’t actually change anything. Still, that she’d bothered to assure him that he’d never put her in danger, Bruce felt himself relaxing as he sent her a genuine smile.

“I’m glad you told me, Tony said you took one of my classes?” Bruce asked smiling as she walked closer, stopping a few feet away.

“Intro to Physics, I got an A. You actually wrote a really nice note on my final paper about my comparison of dark matter to secrets. How it’s out there affecting things unseen and unproved, but still making an impact. You liked that I said proving the existence of it would change our understanding of the laws of physics, not the laws themselves.” Darcy related.

“Because it’s our understanding and knowledge that changes not physics itself. Yes, I remember that paper. It was very insightful, especially for someone who’d never studied the subject before.” Bruce remembered beaming at her.

“Damn Lewis, is there anyone you can’t charm?” Tony asked impressed.

“Well, Fury called me a pain in the ass, but his lips were twitching like he was trying not to laugh. I’ve done that with my niece and nephew when they’ve done stuff that was technically wrong but they looked so damn cute doing it that it was hard not to laugh.” Darcy answered grinning.   

After an hour or so in the lab with Bruce and Tony, Darcy began to yawn as the jet lag caught up with her.

“Go get some sleep kid, Jarvis will wake you up when it’s time for the ‘welcome to the tower’ pizza dinner.” Tony order waving her off.

“A nap does sound good, not sure I can get back on my own though.” Darcy said heading toward the door.

“Jarvis will direct you if you need help.” Bruce replied with a reassuring smile.

“Awesome, see you later Science Bros.” Darcy told them before disappearing out the door. The two men looked at each other smirking at the moniker.

“You’re already designing t-shirts in you head aren’t you.” Bruce stated despite the phrasing.

“You know me so well.” Tony answered grinning.

 

When Darcy awoke it was to a dark room and a soft British voice talking to her. “Jarvis?” she asked sounding confused.

“Yes Miss Darcy?” he answered.

“Just making sure, it’s a little disorienting waking up in a new place.,” she replied as she climbed out of bed. She’d unpacked before taking her nap and was glad she didn’t have to fumble for her toiletries. “How do I turn the lights on?” Darcy asked looking around. The overhead light came on causing her to blink at the sudden brightness.

“The overhead light also has a manual switch to the right of the door to the hall, and the bedside lamps are both voice and touch activated. There are two switched on the wall of the bathroom immediately to you right as you enter. The overhead lights in the hall, living room, and kitchen are all strictly voice activated; however the Tiffany lamps have standard switches. In addition the remote controls for the main television and fireplace reside in the wooden box on the mantel. You can also control both appliances via voice command. The remote control for the television in the bedroom is in the top drawer of the left hand bedside table, it is also voice controlled. All other appliances in your suite have standard controls only.” Jarvis explained.

“Jarvis, you rock.” Darcy enthused grinning as she made her way into the ensuite bathroom, flicking on the overhead light as she went.

“Thank you Miss Darcy.” Jarvis responded.

“Hey, are you actively watching all the time?” she asked curiously.

“I passively monitor the occupants of the tower unless I am spoken to, needed to interact with them, or alerted to an issue. Cameras in the living spaces do not record except in specific emergency situations, and you are able to enact privacy protocols at any time. When privacy protocols are enabled occupants vital signs are the only thing that is monitored. Fire sensors are also active, but all other monitoring is suspended until you rescind the order or leave your suite. My services would still be available should you directly engage me.” Jarvis explained.

“Thank you Jarvis, that’s very assuring.” Darcy said as she began to undress.

“You are most welcome Miss Darcy, I am happy to answer any questions you may have.” Jarvis replied.

After her shower and blow drying her hair, Darcy slipped into a pair of well-worn jeans and a faded red t-shirt that said Team Science on the front and Fuck Yeah! on the back in grey lettering.

“I do believe Sir with highly approve of you attire.” Jarvis commented as Darcy headed onto the elevator.

“Thanks, so where is this pizza dinner thing happening?” she asked.

“Dinner is being served on the common floor.” Jarvis answered as the elevator began to move. The doors opened onto a huge, multi-level space. Directly in front of her, up a short flight of stairs, was a group of couches where she could see people sitting and hear Clint’s voice. Darcy hurried up the steps with a grin.

“Biceps!” Darcy exclaimed throwing herself over the back of the low couch, tackle hugging Clint happily. Clint turned in his seat just in time to catch her in his arms, hugging her tight and sliding her legs over the back of the couch laying them across Natasha’s lap.

“Darce! Finally, I was starting to take it personally.” Clint greeted chuckling as she settled comfortably in his lap 

“Tony told me how you pouted because you missed me.” Darcy said smugly.

“Missed you, yeah right.” Clint scoffed, rather unconvincingly given he was still cuddling her.

“Yes, he did.” Nat said smirking at her friend.

“Hey Nat, how’s things?” Darcy asked as if she wasn’t draped over both of them.

“Oh you know, fighting Hydra, taming the Hulk, same old thing. I hear you’ve been making quite an impression around here.” Natasha commented.

“You know me, I’m adorable.” Darcy preened comically.

“That you are sweetheart.” Clint agreed with a fond chuckle.

“Darcy this is Steve. Steve Rogers this is Darcy  Lewis, intern assistant to Dr. Foster, friend of Thor and informally adopted sister of this goof.” Nat introduced to the man Darcy hadn’t noticed sitting on the couch across from them.

“Nice to meet you.” Steve greeted with an bemused smile.

“Oh hi! I didn’t even notice you over there I was so caught up in my spysassins.” Darcy apologized with a smile.

“Spysassins?” Steve asked with a chuckle just as  Natasha asked

“Yours?”                                                             

“Spysassins is a word I made up mixing spy and assassins.” Darcy answered Steve. “And don’t you give me the eyebrow of doom missy,” Darcy admonished Natasha, nudging her gently with her knee. “Clint’s claimed me as a sister and we both know me being one of his people means I’m one of yours too. And if I’m yours, you two are mine, that’s how it works.” Darcy explained.

Steve watched the byplay between them marveling a Darcy’s courage in talking to Natasha that way. After a long moment of the two women staring at each other, Nat’s mouth twitched in amusement. Darcy signed something to her that left a smile in Natasha’s eyes and had Clint hugging  her tight. Nat signed something back that had Darcy smiling softly with a please nod. Steve shifted uncomfortably feeling like he was intruding on a private moment. Before he could retreat the elevator doors opened and Tony came bounding out followed by Bruce at a more sedate pace.

“Why is there cuddling happening and I wasn’t invited? Since when does Nat cuddle?” Tony demanded hands on his hips.

“Since I got here.’ Darcy smirked.

“Not fair, Barton’s bogarting all the cuddles.  I want in on the cuddle pile.” Tony pouted. “Bruce wants cuddles too, right Bruce?” he asked as Bruce settled on the empty couch near Natasha.

“Umm…maybe?” he said making it more of a question than anything else. Darcy and Tony both lit up with near identical grins turned on Bruce making him squirm.

“No,” Natasha said firmly pointing at Tony.

“No what?” he asked confused.

“You can’t corrupt her, Darcy’s ours.” Nat declared.

“How is that by the way?” Tony asked curiously as he slumped next to Steve. Bruce tried not to look too relieved at the change in subject.  

“When Thor crash landed on Earth back in 2011, Jane, Erik, and I were the first people to find him. Next day Coulson rolls into town with his cadre of jackbooted thugs. Fast forward a few days, after the Destroyer did just that and destroyed half the town, SHIELD stuck around to do clean up and help rebuild. Clint was part of the cleanup crew. We bonded, became friends and when he left we kept in touch. Later he introduced me to Tasha and the rest is history.” Darcy explained as she disengaged from her friends, sitting between them rather than on them.

“So wait, if you became friends why does Foster barely speak to you?” Tony asked Nat and Clint confused.

“Jane has never forgiven SHIELD for stealing all our stuff in the wake of Thor’s initial landing. Add to that sending us to Norway when the whole chitauri thing happened and letting Thor leave without at least handing him a phone to call her. Plus Erik getting mind fucked and now the whole Hydra reveal, well, she really hates that their connected to SHIELD. It’s kinda petty but Thor’s working on it.” Darcy explained.

Before anyone could say anything the elevator doors opened again, Thor, Jane, and Pepper walking out.

“Pep, come meet Lewis.” Tony called out grinning. The three of them climbed the stairs, Pepper dressed in casual jeans and an old Motley Crue  tee of Tony’s. She dropped onto the couch next to him, smiling at Darcy.

“It’s great to finally meet you.” Pepper greeted.

“You too, I’m a big fan.” Darcy replied grinning.

“You didn’t say you were a fan of mine.” Tony pouted.

“Not going to stroke your ego Tony, or anything else for that matter.” Darcy returned easily.

“You know that innocence you were protecting? Too late.” Tony said smirking at Natasha.

“Very true my friend, Darcy is quite skilled in pleasurable arts. She is no innocent.” Thor boasted on her behalf.

“Not what he meant big guy.” Darcy said blushing.

“How the hell does he know how ‘skilled’ you are?” Clint demanded frowning at Thor darkly.

“Dial it back Rambo, it’s just his fertility mojo.” Darcy related flapping a dismissive hand toward Thor.

“His what now?” Tony asked arching an eyebrow.

“You know the whole fertility thing he does.” Darcy repeated looking around at all of them and seeing six blank faces staring back at her. “You didn’t tell them” Darcy asked incredulously. Thor simply shrugged, mischief dancing in his eyes. “What happened to ‘if we are to share space you must be aware of my full capabilities’?” she demanded in a comical impression of his deeper voice that had Steve stifling a grin.

“I did not see the necessity in this instance.” Thor replied lazily.

“One of you needs to explain, now.” Natasha demanded stiffly.

Thor and Darcy stared at each other for a long moment before she relented with a sigh and rolled her eyes.

“Okay you guys know that several thousand years ago Thor, Odin, and a bunch of other Asgardians came to Earth right?” Darcy asked looking around.

“You’ve been here before?” Steve asked frowning. Darcy looked at Thor in disbelief, she couldn’t believe he’d never told them anything about his history with Midgard.

“Aye Steven, many of your years ago when I was much younger. I was the equivalent of a human teenager.” Thor confirmed with a reminiscent smile.

“You really should have told them all this yourself Thor.” Darcy told him frowning.

“Most here have a prejudice against magic, no matter how passive. Indeed Stark does not believe it is truly magic. It seemed unnecessary to bring up these things.” Thor defended mildly.

“Darce, just tell us.” Clint urged.

“It’s like this, about three thousand Earth years ago a race called the Joten’s, more commonly referred to as Frost Giants, invaded Earth. Their planet is pretty much entirely ice and they wanted better digs. At that point humans only had swords and spears and the like, so the ancient Norse who encountered the Joten’s were quickly enslaved. Except Odin had united most of the Nine Realms in peace and had sworn to protect all the planets of the Realms from the Frost Giants. So when Heimdall, gate keeper of Asgard, used his special sight and saw what the Joten’s were doing, Odin gathered a force to fight the Frost Giants and kick their butts back to their own planet.” Darcy explained.

“Once the Joten’s were gone, the Asgardians stayed for a while helping them rebuild what the others had destroyed. The Ancient Norse didn’t really get the concept of aliens so they thought they were gods. Norse mythology is  based off Thor and his people.  We humans got somethings right, but most of it wrong. One thing we got right is that Thor has certain powers because he was chosen by mew-mew.” Darcy continued.

“Mjolnir,” Thor corrected automatically.

“Right, anyway, so you’ve seen his powers in action. He can fly, call forth a storm, wield lightening, break up storms, ect. That’s all part of the God of Thunder thing. Then there’s the flip side, Thor was also granted fertility powers. The ability to help life along should he choose. With that means simply by looking at someone he can read their sexual energy. Anyone’s experience, skill level, fertility, compatibility with another person, he can sense it all. He doesn’t get specifics, just an overall assessment.” Darcy revealed.

“I do not actively use this ability, at least only do so rarely. However I will still absorb this information if I spend enough time with someone.” Thor explained.

“So you’ve spent enough time with Darcy to sense she’s good in bed?” Tony asked wanting to make sure that’s what they were all being told.

“Yes my friend, I can sense the skill level of you all.” Thor confirmed.

“I’m the best right?” Tony asked smirking. Thor and Darcy laughed while the others groaned.

“No, the most skilled lover is Natasha. Though Bruce is a very close second.” Thor answered honestly. Everyone looked at Bruce in surprise, watching as he flushed red. Luckily for Bruce that’s the moment Jarvis announced the arrival of the pizzas as the elevator doors opened allowing one of the security guards to bring in the pies. Once she left everyone descended on the food, mingling together as they ate, the subject of Bruce’s prowess dropped. And if Nat had a bit more curiosity in her eyes as she observed him no one commented on it.

They were all back on the couches eating, talking, and drinking, everyone shuffling around to talk to different people as the evening wore on. As the alcohol began to flow Thor’s face lit up.

“Steve, I almost forgot, I brought you a gift from Asgard.” Thor declared reaching into the inner pocket of his discarded coat. Steve watched curious as he retrieved a glass cylinder, about ten inches tall with an ornate cap, and filled with a honey colored liquid. “When I last visited Asgard to celebrate the birth of Volstagg’s youngest child I procured this. It is mead, similar to the Earth drink of the same name. However this will have an intoxicating effect on you.” Thor told him handing over the bottle.

“Really?” Steve asked grinning.

“Look at that, now Capsicle can get drunk with the rest of us.” Tony teased grinning.

Steve quickly opened the bottle, splashed a small amount in his empty glass and took a sip. Finding he enjoyed the sweet taste, he filled the tumbler half way and raised it in salute to Thor before taking a deep swallow. Steve almost melted into the couch as liquid warmth spread throughout his body.

“Good?” Darcy asked leaning toward him.

“Never tasted anything quite like it.” Steve answered grinning at her.

“It is pretty tasty. I’m only allowed three tiny sips because of how potent it is. Anymore and Thor said it could hurt me.” Darcy related.

“Wouldn’t want that doll.” Steve told her, boldly tucking a section of hair behind her ear.

Clint was deep in conversation about Game of Thrones with Pepper when Nat nudged him. Clint looked at her curiously only to follow her gaze to where Darcy was enthusiastically talking to Steve. Clint took in the interested, relaxed smile on the other man’s face a he listened to whatever story she was telling him. What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion. Clint watched in fascinated horror as Steve threw his head back in unrestrained laughter, his right hand clapping down on the left side of Darcy’s chest. However, seeing as Darcy is a woman, this left Steve with his hand firmly cupped around her left breast.

They both froze in shock for several long seconds before Steve’s face turned red so fast he could have competed with Johnny Storm. Embarrassment and panic spread over him like a blanket as Steve snatched his hand away and began to babble apologies.

“Darcy, I am so, so sorry. I didn’t mean…it was an accident, I just wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” Steve told her haltingly.

“Steve relax, it’s fine.” Darcy soothed only to have her words over looked as he continued to babble.

“I would never, not without permission, I’m so sorry, my Ma’s libel to come back from the grave just to smack me, so so sorry.” Steve told her in a continuous stream of broken apologies.

No matter what Darcy said to absolve him, it all fell on deaf ears as Steve wound himself into a spiral of shame. After several minutes of his non-stop apologies Darcy was done. In a move born of the tequila from the margarita she’d drunk, Darcy threw her hand out and grabbed his dick through his pants. All sound and movement in the room stopped as Darcy sat there calmly looking up at the now silent Steve, her right hand firmly but gently cupping his junk.

“There,” she started “now we’re even.” Darcy declared before letting go and climbing to her feet. “Alright then, drama dealt with I’m going to bed. Night all,” Darcy announced with a wave as she headed down the steps toward the elevator.

Steve sat there dumbfounded not sure what he wanted more, to sink through the floor, to touch her again, or to have her touch him.

“Steve!” Tony yelled in a tone that said this wasn’t the first attempt to get his attention. “If you don’t go after her I will.” Tony threatened seriously.

“And I’ll help.” Pepper added. Steve was on his feet and moving before his brain registered the intention.

 

Darcy was just shutting the door of her suite behind her when she heard a voice call out her name.

“Darcy,” Steve said practically sprinting to her side.

“If you’re here to apologize again please don’t.,” she told him with a weary sigh.

“No, that’s not why I’m here.” Steve assured her with a bashful smile.

“Then why **_are_** you down here?” she asked confused.

Steve opened and closed his mouth a few times before uttering “Ah fuck it.” Steve surged forward, cradling her face between his hands and kissing her. Darcy froze in surprise for a moment before melting into him, her mouth opening beneath his. Steve pulled back to look down at her with a small smile. “This okay?” he asked softly. 

“So okay.” Darcy assured him, tugging him into the suite with her.

 

The next morning Darcy dropped into a seat at the communal kitchen table across from where Tony was nursing a cup of coffee, looking him over with an assessing gaze.

“Yes?” he asked amused.

“You kinda suck at reading people don’t you?” Darcy asked.

“What makes you say that?” Tony shot back surprised.

“Because you honestly seem to think Steve is a virgin.,” she answered.

“Are you saying he isn’t anymore?” Tony smarmed leaning toward her.

“I’m saying no one who’s that good with their mouth is a virgin.” Darcy retorted as she stood and sauntered away with a smug grin. Tony stared after her in awe until she was out of sight.

“I really need to get Bruce to run that DNA.” Tony muttered to himself before finishing his coffee. Somehow he just knew that Darcy was going to be involved in making life around the tower a bit more fun. He was looking forward to it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> No she’s not related to Tony, she just reminds him of himself. I’ll leave it your imaginations whether Steve being good with his mouth was proved through PG-13 making out or more.


End file.
